Monday, April 20, 2009

I just found myself

It took 51 years, but I think I finally figured out who I am.

The first clue that I can remember, was the delight that I had at about 5 years old, in finding a pile of color prints, each one had an image of a domesticated chicken (probably the rooster, or maybe both sexes) with its name. I remember rifling through them with the greatest pleasure. The differences in plumage and shapes was so interesting, surely every possible variant was in my hands and everything one could know about the appearance of chickens was there if one wanted to know.

Over the years, my greatest pleasures have been my "projects". Somewhere I have a book full of notes, gleaned from encyclopedia articles about the members of the noble families of Europe. This was spawned after several years of reading material that referred to so-and-so, queen of one place was the cousin of the prince of such-and-such. Nowhere, however, could I find a very complete description of all these interrelationships, and I wondered what interesting connections/relationships one might see, if only they could see them. Like most of my projects, I lost interest when the scope became unmanageable.

My years have been a string of these projects. The rest of the world exists around me in a detached manner, I participate in it just enough to sustain me for my inner life.

The truth then is that I am an information organization addict. I thrive inside when I'm busy collecting and arranging information in a way that doesn't yet exist (AFAIK) to create something useful or at least interesting.

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